I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
