She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
