There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize