there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
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I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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