he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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