He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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