I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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