you turned your livingroom into a bong?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
