Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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