I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
