I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Randomize
