Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
