My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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