I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
