Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
