I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
