Grow some girl-balls and come out already
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
