dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize