you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
