my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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