In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize