I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
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For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
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I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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