Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
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Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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