speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize