Pappa wants mamma naked
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
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i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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