I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
