I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
