Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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