make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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