just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
