when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
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I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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