That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
