How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
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He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
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Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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