Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
