True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
