can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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