that's an acceptable place to lick
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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