Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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