went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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