At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
