well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize