theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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