on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
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We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
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he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
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