what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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