i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
