I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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