so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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