I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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