i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
