I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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