He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
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It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
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I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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