They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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