I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
