Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
