and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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