and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
