Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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